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The following
is a special end-of-the-year message from our beloved Lion~*:
The closing of another
year is nearing. Enfolded in its days are smiles,
laughter and abundant loving – alongside occasional periods of
grief, somber nights and tear-streaked days. It is
amazing how fast twenty-four hours turn into a week and
speedy months in annual progressions through our life
journey.
I have been thinking of my own expedition through 2008.
Having unusually traveled thousands of miles via car and
plane often feeling as if I were being hurled through
time and space. Feeling both familiar and unfamiliar in
my surroundings and finding myself settling 'home'
within my own skin.
This year has been a real experience in honesty. Truly
confronting the very core of my own self, while visiting
the entrance and depths of several other beautiful
people. Virginia Wolfe said, “If you do not tell the
truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other
people.” We live in a world filled with spoken and
unspoken rules and regulations. The judgments,
assumptions and condemnation of our fellow persons may
be and often are in fact shattering. Who has not felt
the sting of emotional duress? Who has not inflicted it
too? Yet, if standing in front of a mirror, how sincere
would you tell the truth to your own self?
We need and long for respect that is authentic. To be
treated with decency. Not to be judged because we feel,
think and make choices that suit our own soul needs
perfectly but may not suit that of those who live close
to us. None of us was made in the same mold. We were
conceived with variety from hair color to personalities.
Our common need: To be unconditionally loved for whom we
are. Our common sorrow: Not feeling unconditionally
loved for whom we are. How we express ourselves is very
individual and by some is judged very unusual.
I have lived a lifetime of partial truths only showing
small bits of who I am. Only giving the things I felt
others would accept me for and hiding the fears, sorrows
and insecurities that roamed like haunting ghosts
through my neurons. I thought I was living Me. The truth
is I existed in the shadow of myself. Afraid to feel and
speak out all that makes me, well Me! Afraid of
rejection if anyone were allowed to know just how frail
and how strong I felt.
When we are born everyone says, “Oh! How sweet!” And
hugs and cuddles are abundant. When we begin to walk and
touch and speak, “No! Do not!” Our curiosity is limited
and we learn to do what others want us to. Conforming to
society, conditioned by morals, religion, and fashion
while rebelling in inner emotions and hidden reactions.
My dearest friend spoke to me with brutal, honest love.
“You are not being you! Who are you? Why are you lying
to yourself and everyone around you?” I was stunned not
knowing what she meant. It did not take long to learn I
was giving some thoughts and morsels of myself and
holding back the banquet that made me who I was
conceived to be. I was not revealing my own wholeness.
Not seeing that my emotions and details did not make me
unacceptable and broken, but just very real, fragile and
human. Not to be rejected, but to be loved all the more!
Stephen C. Paul said, “Once the truth is told, you never
need to pretend again.” I had pretended for so long that
I was “fine”. Meanwhile I had an avalanche of
undisturbed emotions that were sucking the life out of
me. As I safely opened the door and spoke out one thing
after another, I was heard and respected for every
single bit that is I. I took courage, spoke in the same
manner to my husband and children, and found myself met
with the same respecting love. Being accepted for who I
am, what I feel and what I want. Some people gasp and
sputter when you are brutally honest. Such audacity!
Such positive arrogance – “How dare you dare to be
yourself?” What an accusation! What an awakening! To
truly be and accept yourself gives you the loving
ability to accept honestly and unconditionally our
delicate fellow persons on this earth.
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who
mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~
Theodor Seuss Geisel
I discovered the nonconforming, unconventional, honest,
childlike wonderment of daring and loving that courses
through my soul. It is so simple to live Me. It is also
impossible without accepting every detail and emotion
that makes me who I am today.
Who have you been this past year? Do you hide parts of
you in shame or fear like a child cringing, scared of
reprimand? Do you negate the beauty you possess? Or do
you let no one come close because of past rejections? Do
yourself a favor… Speak the whole entire truth of you to
yourself… and live life with the dignity and self
respecting love you deserve. A new year looms so close.
Take full advantage of yourself… live you fully!
Wishing you a beautiful holiday season!
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Dear Lion~*'
is a monthly feature where our friendly neighborhood
advice columnist answers some of your most pressing
questions about life, love and the pursuit of happiness!
If you have a question for Dear Lion~* please
click here. |
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Ask Dear Lion~*! |
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